Love, or Something Like It.

First, I would like to apologize to the internet for not posting blogs on our blog site. We began this blog with noble ideas of weekly contributions, deep and profound thoughts, insightful inquiries and epic dialog. We have delivered none of that; nor can I promise that we soon will! However, since no one likely has read are meager thoughts, I do not believe we've offended anyone.

Second, If profound thought or mind-blowing exegesis is what you're hoping to get from this post, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed. Today's blog is more a (derailed) train of thought then a carefully planned and researched topic of discussion – either way I hope it brings some value to whomever stumbles upon these words.

About two years ago I had a quite debate with an amazing friend of mine. She was of the opinion, at least then, that there was a certain line in the sand that, once crossed, would forever doom you to a life-long friendship; in short, the friend zone. I argued that simply wasn't true. Doesn't everyone always claim they wish to marry their best friend? I've seen plenty of sappy love stories, and without fail every single one of them has some disgustingly sappy line that goes something to the affect of "I'm the luckiest [wo]man in the world; I got to marry my best friend." And despite the fact that I've seen heard that damn line, or a variation of it, a million times, I can't help but feel my heart swell.

I have the unfortunate habit of falling for all my best girlfriends; yeah, I'm that guy. Some of them were foolish enough to knowingly play with my heart, some of them have been wonderful enough to guard my heart – but each and every one of them have, at some point or another, had custody of my heart. I'm never really sure when this transaction occurs; I do know that I hate when it happens. Invariably, each of these amazing young woman have made it clear to me that I am an amazing friend – and that is something I truly am proud of – but it still hurts something fierce.

So I have endeavored to ask the Lord why it is I find myself ever stuffed into the role of "best friend extraordinaire," and never allowed the opportunity to guard and nourish one of these lovely ladies hearts as I wish I could. The answer, or at least the working hypothesis, came to me when discussing this phenomenon with the aforementioned friend. This particular friend has, especially in recent days, been a great source of consolation for me. She, like many of my wonderful friends, had once unwittingly been victim to my absurd crushes. If you ever had the opportunity to meet her, I believe you'd understand. First off, gents, she is holy. I don't care what anyone says, nothing is more attractive than a woman who strives after the heart of Jesus. Oh I admit that girls who wear shreds of fabric they call cloths can certainly be distracting, but it's just fool's gold (Just ask Steve Carell, them girls be CRAZY!) 

A girl who seeks the heart of Jesus however, is a treasure; rare and beautiful. Throw in a mischievous sense of humor, a well-grounded personality, a genuine love for (most) people, a little catholic guilt, the soul of an adventurer and the fact that she is amazingly beautiful, and it's a time bomb just waiting to explode. Luckily, this particular friend was conscience enough of the need to protect her heart and the hearts of others by firmly establishing the extent to which our relationship would go – and I guess I won't complain much, she's an amazing friend to have in my corner – but I digress.

<--- Now that's more like it.

As I talked through some drama that I had been experiencing in my life, and as she patiently listened and offered advice, it occurred to me, while I ruthlessly squashed some stray romantic notions, that the reason I so easily find myself giving these ladies my heart is because of how authentic they are. Perhaps more importantly, because of how rarely I enter into authentic and fully open relationships with the women in my life, I tend to attach great emotional significance to the ones that allow me to be myself without making me feel judged or weighted.

So very few woman allow themselves to be authentic that those few that are tend to be bright lights in a field of dimly flickering candles. Is it any wonder I find myself helplessly drawn to these strong and spirited women? I believe not. And while none of these good friends of mine have, or are likely, to give me their hearts – I have realized that they offer me great opportunities. I can practice loving them wholly and authentically, giving my gifts to them unreservedly and without expectation of return. As I practice the art of Loving the way Christ does, perhaps one day, when I finally meet the woman I will call my wife, I can be as great a gift to her as these ladies are to me.


I guess the take away from all of this is this: ladies, be brave enough to be your authentic self. Don't fret over the judgments of others, or the opinions of men. Seek Jesus with your whole heart - seek the love story he is writing for you. Men, don't be discouraged when a woman of great value doesn't necessarily return your affections. Let this become an opportunity to practice loving in purity and chastity, let this be a practice in self-sacrifice, and let this be a practice of sustaining and nurturing a healthy and life-affirming friendship. One day the Lord will lead us to our vocations. Until that day, train and condition your heart for Love.


To you un-named wonders, Thank you for being so love-able. Thank you for allowing Christ to bring out your true beauty, and thank you for your unapologetic devotion to the Lord, to being you, and yes, to not dating me (though I'd be just as thankful if you changed your mind, just saying). As much as it might hurt at times – I am thankful for the blessings you give me through the amazing friendships you provide!

Some quotes, In case you are still reading.

"Friendship, as has been said, consists in a full commitment of the will to another person with a view to that person's good." – Blessed John Paul II, the Great

    Love consists of a commitment which limits one's freedom – it is a giving of the self, and to give     oneself means just that: to limit one's freedom on behalf of another."
    – Blessed John Paul II, the Great

Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and Hallelujah is our song. – Blessed John Paul II, the Great

    Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one mustn't misuse it. – Blessed John Paul II, the Great
    Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought.
    – Blessed John Paul II, the Great